Many of life’s events and hassles that we go through can either build or break us. One of my life events I can reminisce is the transformation from high school to college. As a high school student I was so used to having the staff cradle me, committing myself to my work, completing extra assignments to bring up my grade I wasn’t aware what I was going to do for the next step. In high school is a kind of worry free environment because the teachers and staff have everything under control. Once I completed high school and entered my way to college everything constantly changed around me in an instant.
For instance your parents become less worry some because this is the first step of life and you have to do many things they have done for you on your own. Next, the professors hold you responsible for all your assignments, attendance and preparation utilities such as books, pencils, binders etc. Yet, high school things are free of charge because tax payers money pay for public education of students while college it depends if you are eligible for government expenses to help pay for college. But for those who are not eligible for government assistance has to pay out of pocket expenses which are not easy to pay.
Additionally, the college lifestyle expects you to be vigilant, mature and more determined to succeed than when you were in high school. However, when I first attended college at Union County College I can honestly say that I tried to be vigilant in all my courses. I participated in all my courses which were union county college 101, criminal justice 101, English 101 and pre-algebra 11. I also studied as much as a could in my free time and I always asked for assistance even if I did not need it just to be sure I knew all the material so that I could at least try to pass the course.
I became very frustrated and stressed out with three of the courses I enjoyed so much. My complications with these courses were that maybe perhaps I was not on the same level of work as many of the students were because I did not get the material that was needed for college from high school. Not only this but also my attendance became an concern because I carpooled with one of my friends and many of times he failed to pick me up for class and I became irritated with situation as well.
Finally I tried to get my head on straight for the assignments I needed to get done and once I did I started to do much better but then everything started to go downhill once again. However before the grades actually went out I thought I did well but it turns out I did not do as well as I thought and the outcome was only anger and shock. In the end although I did not contribute enough to get a decent grade I could blame myself for being so lazy, non forced, irritable, less vigilant then I should have. Coping with this issue was not easy in the long run but I actually learned from this issue.
I learned that college work is not an easy task but it takes a lot of hard work, peer assistance and most of all time to get things that need to be completed. I can also reminisce a time when I was in the fifth grade a teacher one of my favorite teachers passed away. The day began okay until the class received that devastating news that one of well liked teachers had passed away. Throughout the day I just failed to believe the news that was given to me I thought that maybe she was ill and would be back tomorrow. Yet not knowing death at this age I had to think of the possibility that may just maybe this could have been true.
So I was very saddened to actually go through a situation like this. I could only think in my mind she was so young, great, and full of life and she was taken from us so quickly. Once the principal came on the intercom and told us where her funeral would be held I decided I would pay my respects to her as well her family. When my sister and I arrived at the funeral home we spotted many of our fellow class mates we all walked in together. Our hearts sank because of the loss of a person who loved her students as well teaching as well being around “her children “she called us.
When we saw her body in the casket and this being my first funeral I immediately cried because the memories of her flooded my mind and would not go away. Nonetheless the person I saw in the casket did not look like the person I saw when she was alive. Later on during the funeral many of the staff and the principal came to pay their respects. The first thing I recognized as a child experiencing this first death experience was that many of the people mostly men did not really show emotion but yet I thought maybe they were hiding their pain or it would come out later.
Throughout the service I met her mother and her mother was really happy as if she had her time to mourn, perhaps she had accepted the loss of her daughter or maybe she would have her time to mourn alone later that day. She had a very vivid and vibrant spirit like her daughter yet she was much more comforting to the young children like me. The only thing she would say and still to this day I still have it in my heart is that “Raynelle loved her children”. That just made me happy to know that she loved us so much that we wouldn’t have to worry.
That being said I promised myself I would not go to any other funerals because it takes a lot of your strength and energy to go into a funeral service. It is really hard to process the fact that the person is really gone and they are not coming back. My way of coping with this situation was to accepting that she was gone and in a better place, knowing that I had my time to mourn, keeping great memories of her in my mind and heart, knowing no one can take her place or duplicate her in any way or form. This experience has made me aware that we live to die it’s not always accepted but it’s just a part of life.
Although I said I would never attend another funeral service this brings up two more death experiences I have gone through in high school. His name was Ronald I knew very well from a sport we played together on the same team. When I received the news I failed to believe this notice because not only was he my teammate be he was also like a brother to me. This also happened to a female friend who was very well known who passed away on a field trip. Knowing these two people very well I was reacted by crying and becoming stress out because they were like family to me.
I attended both of their funerals honestly I did not shed at my friend Ronald’s funeral but I did at my friend Shawna’Kaye’s funeral. No doubt it was not easy of coping with these deaths because I immediately thought of how I would feel if I were their parents given this devastating news. Surely it was not easy and this situation would drag along with me throughout my life. First handling life’s biggest event such as death of a loved one and transitioning from one stage to another which is more challenging is not always easy.
Handling these situations changed and challenged me as an individual on how to handle life’s greatest challenges. For instance transitioning from high school to college made me realize that you have to buckle down and focus on many things you for yourself. Like in high school when many things are given to you such as extra credit assignments, utilities and even the education is free of charge to you. College is a different scenario you really have to get down to business to get what you want to out of an education.
Coping with the transitioning of education is difficult because now you balance your personal life with your school life which is stressful and exhausting but it comes to show you are willing to do it for yourself and. However death of a friend or loved one is the most difficult life situation to cope with because you have to live your life without that person. Many people who go through extreme tragedies like death do not really overcome it t they just set aside their pain for their loved ones.
Like myself I gave myself time to mourn loss of my loved one no matter had long it took and accepted that she was in a place better than place where there was suffering. These events affected my personal life by challenging me many areas such as adulthood because there are many things you have to accomplish on your independently without the help of parents. Nonetheless gave me a chance to know that there are events in the world that affect us everyday such as death that we cannot control but we can grieve as much as we can accept that they made an impact on our lives and they will not be forgotten.